Greetings peasants! - OzChess

**MaxTheMaggot** · 09-14-2009, 11:38 AM

You will be no doubt delighted to hear that I have deemed your forum to be a place suitable for my illustrious presence so her I am!

However I must admit that my options have become rather limited of late as I’ve been permanently kicked out of 7 other chess forums for having delusions of grandeur, being emotionally un-stable and writing excessively long and dull posts.
I should mention that all these allegations are totally, totally trivial and without a shred of credible evidence from any recognised official source (of credible evidence) to support them.

From what I can see, (I've been lurking), this forum is one which supports the right of the individual to be a totally, totally weird freak if he/she/it so wishes, so I think I might feel quite at home and also, I have already noticed that the place needs a bit of a clean up!
Now that is something I am sure I can help with!

Max

**Just2Good** · 09-14-2009, 02:20 PM

Terrific!

**Axiom** · 09-14-2009, 02:42 PM

Originally Posted by MaxTheMaggot

You will be no doubt delighted to hear that I have deemed your forum to be a place suitable for my illustrious presence so her I am!

However I must admit that my options have become rather limited of late as I’ve been permanently kicked out of 7 other chess forums for having delusions of grandeur, being emotionally un-stable and writing excessively long and dull posts.
I should mention that all these allegations are totally, totally trivial and without a shred of credible evidence from any recognised official source (of credible evidence) to support them.

From what I can see, (I've been lurking), this forum is one which supports the right of the individual to be a totally, totally weird freak if he/she/it so wishes, so I think I might feel quite at home and also, I have already noticed that the place needs a bit of a clean up!
Now that is something I am sure I can help with!

Max

That's really cute ,........now F*** OFF !

**Fenguin** · 09-14-2009, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by Axiom

That's really cute ,........now F*** OFF !

hahaha Ax

welcome to ozchess max

**antichristmas** · 09-14-2009, 05:26 PM

Hey!
Don't go overboard youse two.
Your treating the new guy likes he's a priest or somethin
Fair go.

**Jaydon** · 09-14-2009, 05:32 PM

haha random.. lol Ax

**MaxTheMaggot** · 09-14-2009, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by Axiom

That's really cute ,........now F*** OFF !

Charming!
Not exactly the sort of reception I was hoping for.
Your'e in my black book my boy and i'll be keeping a close eye on you.
When I get my moderators licence, (application is in the mail mods), you may well be the 1st cab off the rank headed for the detention centre.

Max

**Just2Good** · 09-14-2009, 09:30 PM

I am glad to see you will be taking part in our elections Max. Heck, if you tell me more about yourself, I may even vote for you!

**Axiom** · 09-14-2009, 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by MaxTheMaggot

Charming!
Not exactly the sort of reception I was hoping for.
Your'e in my black book my boy and i'll be keeping a close eye on you.
When I get my moderators licence, (application is in the mail mods), you may well be the 1st cab off the rank headed for the detention centre.

Max

You don't want to tangle with the sharp blade of the Ax , Max.

**MaxTheMaggot** · 09-15-2009, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by Arrogant-One

I am glad to see you will be taking part in our elections Max. Heck, if you tell me more about yourself, I may even vote for you!

I am glad you asked!
Please find my resume under for your kind consideration.

Max’s resume

After many years as the supreme bean on the ChitChat forum I am beginning to feel jaded and limited. I have banned everyone who ever argued with me at any point in time which has left only posters who roll over and wag their tails if I so much as glance at them sideways. Too dull!
For this reason I wish to apply for the position of Top Mod at OZChess. (I would be willing to accept the role of underdog Mod but only for a limited period while training).

Nationality: I was born at an early age on Australia’s most Southernmost Island (Macquarie) and soon grew up to become a very important person.

Secondary Education: Traumatic. I attended Macquarie High School for 26 years. During this entire time I was bullied merciliessly by every other class member, (the girls were the worst), and the teacher and the janitor. Plus the canteen lady never spared the soup ladle on me when I asked for more.

Tertiary education: I graduated from Macquarie University with a professorship in the quantum thermodynamic properties of fast food under extreme physical stress conditions.
My Thesis paper was
"The practical explosive properties of 2 minutes noodles, (hot and spicy), cooked for 10 nano-seconds or less in a cyclotron."

Work history: Pass.

Skills and experience directly related to the position of moderator on OZChess:
I have many years experience as a moderator on the Macquarie island ChitChat forum were I was known for taking a hard line with recalcitrants. I brought in many new innovations including, but not limited to:-

1 day lightning bans for all members of the forum just to keep everyone on their toes
and
I was the first moderator to introduce water boarding techniques to deter long winded conspiracy theorists.

Teamwork: I can work alone or as part of a team as required just so long as I am the supreme bean and everyone on the team calls me sir or chiefy or similar.

Hobbies: Inventing new hobbies!! How clever is that!
Pulling my lower lip up over my nose to surprise friends and acquaintances is my latest favourite pastime. After much practice and training I can now cover 53.6% of the surface area of my nose. (I worked this out with the help of a red marking pen and integral calculus) I am aiming to cover my whole head including my ears one day!

Future ambitions: To be the first forum moderator to invade a neutral country.

Preferred hours: No mornings please as I have other commitments at that time of the day.

Referees:
Work
Augusto Pinochet, Chile (Regrettably deceased but still sorely missed)
Mahmoud Imadinnerjacket (Iran)
Personal
The Canteen Lady, Macquarie High (but only if absolutely necessary as I suspect that she doesn't like me very much)

Yours with the utmost deeply meaningful sincerity, and waiting in patient expectation of a fortituous reception to this here application,

Maximilian Maggot
Flat 2b
1 Broken Dreams Boulevarde
Hobrat
Macquarie Island
Australia

**antichrist** · 09-15-2009, 02:00 PM

Originally Posted by MaxTheMaggot

Charming!
Not exactly the sort of reception I was hoping for.
Your'e in my black book my boy and i'll be keeping a close eye on you.
When I get my moderators licence, (application is in the mail mods), you may well be the 1st cab off the rank headed for the detention centre.

Max

Careful this could be BG trying to infiltrate the inner sanctums?

**Firegoat7** · 09-15-2009, 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by MaxTheMaggot

However I must admit that my options have become rather limited of late as I’ve been permanently kicked out of 7 other chess forums for having delusions of grandeur, being emotionally un-stable and writing excessively long and dull posts.

Hi,

Since I have no idea who you are, or your motivation for posting, what is your real life name? Could you please name the several other chess forums you have been kicked out from?

cheers,

**Firegoat7** · 09-15-2009, 07:32 PM

Originally Posted by antichrist

Careful this could be BG trying to infiltrate the inner sanctums?

No way. Bill has no sense of humor.

cheers,

**Bill Gletsos** · 09-15-2009, 08:15 PM

Originally Posted by Firegoat7

Hi,

Since I have no idea who you are, or your motivation for posting, what is your real life name? Could you please name the several other chess forums you have been kicked out from?

cheers,

It looks like a Phil Donnelly hydra to me.

**Just2Good** · 09-15-2009, 08:53 PM

Originally Posted by MaxTheMaggot

I am glad you asked!
Please find my resume under for your kind consideration.

It sounds like you have broad life experience and a great deal to contribute!

Unfortunately, I am pretty sure you are up against some tough competition for the role! So let's cross our fingers and hope for the best!

09-14-2009, 11:38 AM	#1 (permalink)
MaxTheMaggot Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Gopher city, Macquarie Island Posts: 26	Greetings peasants! You will be no doubt delighted to hear that I have deemed your forum to be a place suitable for my illustrious presence so her I am! However I must admit that my options have become rather limited of late as I’ve been permanently kicked out of 7 other chess forums for having delusions of grandeur, being emotionally un-stable and writing excessively long and dull posts. I should mention that all these allegations are totally, totally trivial and without a shred of credible evidence from any recognised official source (of credible evidence) to support them. From what I can see, (I've been lurking), this forum is one which supports the right of the individual to be a totally, totally weird freak if he/she/it so wishes, so I think I might feel quite at home and also, I have already noticed that the place needs a bit of a clean up! Now that is something I am sure I can help with! Max

09-14-2009, 02:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
Just2Good Tin Cup Champ 2004 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Cairns Posts: 6,054 ICC Handle: Advantage FICS Handle: Advantage	Terrific! __________________ . "You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete." ~ Buckminster Fuller ~

09-14-2009, 02:42 PM	#3 (permalink)
Axiom Reality Analyst Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Australia Posts: 3,498	Originally Posted by MaxTheMaggot You will be no doubt delighted to hear that I have deemed your forum to be a place suitable for my illustrious presence so her I am! However I must admit that my options have become rather limited of late as I’ve been permanently kicked out of 7 other chess forums for having delusions of grandeur, being emotionally un-stable and writing excessively long and dull posts. I should mention that all these allegations are totally, totally trivial and without a shred of credible evidence from any recognised official source (of credible evidence) to support them. From what I can see, (I've been lurking), this forum is one which supports the right of the individual to be a totally, totally weird freak if he/she/it so wishes, so I think I might feel quite at home and also, I have already noticed that the place needs a bit of a clean up! Now that is something I am sure I can help with! Max That's really cute ,........now F* OFF ! __________________ "Sometimes the obligation of the intelligent is to restate the obvious. None more important than emphatically stating that there is a : ' Naked Emperor Elephant in the Room' " Axiom**

09-14-2009, 04:26 PM	#4 (permalink)
Fenguin BHCC/CJCC Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Mt Waverley Posts: 123 ICC Handle: Fenguins	Originally Posted by Axiom That's really cute ,........now F*** OFF ! hahaha Ax welcome to ozchess max __________________ rawr

09-14-2009, 08:40 PM	#7 (permalink)
MaxTheMaggot Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Gopher city, Macquarie Island Posts: 26	Originally Posted by Axiom That's really cute ,........now F*** OFF ! Charming! Not exactly the sort of reception I was hoping for. Your'e in my black book my boy and i'll be keeping a close eye on you. When I get my moderators licence, (application is in the mail mods), you may well be the 1st cab off the rank headed for the detention centre. Max

09-14-2009, 05:26 PM	#5 (permalink)
antichristmas Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 2	Hey! Don't go overboard youse two. Your treating the new guy likes he's a priest or somethin Fair go.

09-14-2009, 05:32 PM	#6 (permalink)
Jaydon SCTC Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Queensland, Gold Coast Posts: 1,097 ICC Handle: Aussieboy007 FICS Handle: Bermusia	haha random.. lol Ax

09-14-2009, 09:30 PM	#8 (permalink)
Just2Good Tin Cup Champ 2004 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Cairns Posts: 6,054 ICC Handle: Advantage FICS Handle: Advantage	I am glad to see you will be taking part in our elections Max. Heck, if you tell me more about yourself, I may even vote for you! __________________ . "You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete." ~ Buckminster Fuller ~

09-14-2009, 09:35 PM	#9 (permalink)
Axiom Reality Analyst Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Australia Posts: 3,498	Originally Posted by MaxTheMaggot Charming! Not exactly the sort of reception I was hoping for. Your'e in my black book my boy and i'll be keeping a close eye on you. When I get my moderators licence, (application is in the mail mods), you may well be the 1st cab off the rank headed for the detention centre. Max You don't want to tangle with the sharp blade of the Ax , Max. __________________ "Sometimes the obligation of the intelligent is to restate the obvious. None more important than emphatically stating that there is a : ' Naked Emperor Elephant in the Room' " Axiom

09-15-2009, 11:20 AM	#10 (permalink)
MaxTheMaggot Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Gopher city, Macquarie Island Posts: 26	Vote for me!! Vote for Max!! (or else!) Originally Posted by Arrogant-One I am glad to see you will be taking part in our elections Max. Heck, if you tell me more about yourself, I may even vote for you! I am glad you asked! Please find my resume under for your kind consideration. Max’s resume After many years as the supreme bean on the ChitChat forum I am beginning to feel jaded and limited. I have banned everyone who ever argued with me at any point in time which has left only posters who roll over and wag their tails if I so much as glance at them sideways. Too dull! For this reason I wish to apply for the position of Top Mod at OZChess. (I would be willing to accept the role of underdog Mod but only for a limited period while training). Nationality: I was born at an early age on Australia’s most Southernmost Island (Macquarie) and soon grew up to become a very important person. Secondary Education: Traumatic. I attended Macquarie High School for 26 years. During this entire time I was bullied merciliessly by every other class member, (the girls were the worst), and the teacher and the janitor. Plus the canteen lady never spared the soup ladle on me when I asked for more. Tertiary education: I graduated from Macquarie University with a professorship in the quantum thermodynamic properties of fast food under extreme physical stress conditions. My Thesis paper was "The practical explosive properties of 2 minutes noodles, (hot and spicy), cooked for 10 nano-seconds or less in a cyclotron." Work history: Pass. Skills and experience directly related to the position of moderator on OZChess: I have many years experience as a moderator on the Macquarie island ChitChat forum were I was known for taking a hard line with recalcitrants. I brought in many new innovations including, but not limited to:- 1 day lightning bans for all members of the forum just to keep everyone on their toes and I was the first moderator to introduce water boarding techniques to deter long winded conspiracy theorists. Teamwork: I can work alone or as part of a team as required just so long as I am the supreme bean and everyone on the team calls me sir or chiefy or similar. Hobbies: Inventing new hobbies!! How clever is that! Pulling my lower lip up over my nose to surprise friends and acquaintances is my latest favourite pastime. After much practice and training I can now cover 53.6% of the surface area of my nose. (I worked this out with the help of a red marking pen and integral calculus) I am aiming to cover my whole head including my ears one day! Future ambitions: To be the first forum moderator to invade a neutral country. Preferred hours: No mornings please as I have other commitments at that time of the day. Referees: Work Augusto Pinochet, Chile (Regrettably deceased but still sorely missed) Mahmoud Imadinnerjacket (Iran) Personal The Canteen Lady, Macquarie High (but only if absolutely necessary as I suspect that she doesn't like me very much) Yours with the utmost deeply meaningful sincerity, and waiting in patient expectation of a fortituous reception to this here application, Maximilian Maggot Flat 2b 1 Broken Dreams Boulevarde Hobrat Macquarie Island Australia Last edited by MaxTheMaggot : 09-15-2009 at 11:39 AM

09-15-2009, 02:00 PM	#11 (permalink)
antichrist Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Byron Bay, NSW Posts: 2,547	Originally Posted by MaxTheMaggot Charming! Not exactly the sort of reception I was hoping for. Your'e in my black book my boy and i'll be keeping a close eye on you. When I get my moderators licence, (application is in the mail mods), you may well be the 1st cab off the rank headed for the detention centre. Max Careful this could be BG trying to infiltrate the inner sanctums?

09-15-2009, 07:29 PM	#12 (permalink)
Firegoat7 Moderator Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Getting owned by White in the Dragon and trying to recover lost positions from shock paralysis OTB Posts: 1,924 ICC Handle: guest	Originally Posted by MaxTheMaggot However I must admit that my options have become rather limited of late as I’ve been permanently kicked out of 7 other chess forums for having delusions of grandeur, being emotionally un-stable and writing excessively long and dull posts. Hi, Since I have no idea who you are, or your motivation for posting, what is your real life name? Could you please name the several other chess forums you have been kicked out from? cheers, __________________ "...What I meant? Dear Mr Ian Rout (ACF news publisher) could you please put Ozchessforum in the next news letter! There is no reason to hide this forum from the Australian chess public. What they meant? Sorry, No english!- Amir Karibasic

09-15-2009, 07:32 PM	#13 (permalink)
Firegoat7 Moderator Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Getting owned by White in the Dragon and trying to recover lost positions from shock paralysis OTB Posts: 1,924 ICC Handle: guest	Originally Posted by antichrist Careful this could be BG trying to infiltrate the inner sanctums? No way. Bill has no sense of humor. cheers, __________________ "...What I meant? Dear Mr Ian Rout (ACF news publisher) could you please put Ozchessforum in the next news letter! There is no reason to hide this forum from the Australian chess public. What they meant? Sorry, No english!- Amir Karibasic

09-15-2009, 08:15 PM	#14 (permalink)
Bill Gletsos Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 653	Originally Posted by Firegoat7 Hi, Since I have no idea who you are, or your motivation for posting, what is your real life name? Could you please name the several other chess forums you have been kicked out from? cheers, It looks like a Phil Donnelly hydra to me.

09-15-2009, 08:53 PM	#15 (permalink)
Just2Good Tin Cup Champ 2004 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Cairns Posts: 6,054 ICC Handle: Advantage FICS Handle: Advantage	Originally Posted by MaxTheMaggot I am glad you asked! Please find my resume under for your kind consideration. It sounds like you have broad life experience and a great deal to contribute! Unfortunately, I am pretty sure you are up against some tough competition for the role! So let's cross our fingers and hope for the best! __________________ . "You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete." ~ Buckminster Fuller ~

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