Tom Crass Lerns Chesstes - OzChess

**Tom Crass** · 10-07-2011, 01:39 AM

I BORT ME FERST CHESSTES BORD TODAY ! HOW DO YOUSE F-N LOIKE THAT AN THAT ??!!

I'm loike gunna lern chesstes !

I woz loike lookin at the bord an that , and loike sumfink just loike struck me loike out of fin air an that ... loike which loike side of the bord do youse use ? .. I fought to meself , i'm loike al- f-n -ready stumped an that

loike wot waz i to dooze ?!

Do youse loike know wot i reckon an that ? This is me latest feory - it's loike youse have the squares loike facing downwards on a glass f-n table an that soze youse can loike play loike lying on the floor an that

Now me next loike big challenge an that is to loike seez hows i can loike get those pieces to loike stick ontoos the bord an that ...ize would reoilly welcum any loike klues an that.

Thomas M Crass

**Iconoclast** · 10-07-2011, 09:16 AM

You should start by inserting all 32 pieces into your rectum, then eat the board.

**antichrist** · 10-07-2011, 11:02 AM

Originally Posted by Iconoclast

You should start by inserting all 32 pieces into your rectum, then eat the board.

but you forgot about the extra queens for pawn promotion, I have heard that new sets have such queen but have not verified? and as well the vasoline

**Axiom Support Group** · 10-07-2011, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by Tom Crass

I BORT ME FERST CHESSTES BORD TODAY ! HOW DO YOUSE F-N LOIKE THAT AN THAT ??!!

I'm loike gunna lern chesstes !

I woz loike lookin at the bord an that , and loike sumfink just loike struck me loike out of fin air an that ... loike which loike side of the bord do youse use ? .. I fought to meself , i'm loike al- f-n -ready stumped an that

loike wot waz i to dooze ?!

Do youse loike know wot i reckon an that ? This is me latest feory - it's loike youse have the squares loike facing downwards on a glass f-n table an that soze youse can loike play loike lying on the floor an that

Now me next loike big challenge an that is to loike seez hows i can loike get those pieces to loike stick ontoos the bord an that ...ize would reoilly welcum any loike klues an that.

Thomas M Crass

No one ever influenced Tolkien—you might as well try to influence a bandersnatch.

-- Lin Carter, Imaginary Worlds

**Tom Crass** · 12-23-2011, 11:07 PM

Originally Posted by Axiom Support Group

-- Lin Carter, Imaginary Worlds

Mate iove got loike no f-n clue mate wot youse arse on about , but loike i reoilly loike fancied her loike in Wonderwoman an vat .
Me missus wont let me watch it , i loike 'ave to watch it in the garage an vat .

**Tom Crass** · 12-24-2011, 01:17 AM

Originally Posted by Iconoclast

You should start by inserting all 32 pieces into your rectum, then eat the board.

Originally Posted by antichrist

but you forgot about the extra queens for pawn promotion, I have heard that new sets have such queen but have not verified? and as well the vasoline

Now loike iove bin finkin bout fis for loike sum f-n time , and i fink iove loike worked out what youse mean by movin the pieces an vat . Its loike when youse have a movement an vat .
Iom loike ass-f-n-suming youse loike eat the bord loike one square at a time an vat ?

fank youse,
Tom

10-07-2011, 01:39 AM	#1 (permalink)
Tom Crass Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 25	Tom Crass Lerns Chesstes I BORT ME FERST CHESSTES BORD TODAY ! HOW DO YOUSE F-N LOIKE THAT AN THAT ??!! I'm loike gunna lern chesstes ! I woz loike lookin at the bord an that , and loike sumfink just loike struck me loike out of fin air an that ... loike which loike side of the bord do youse use ? .. I fought to meself , i'm loike al- f-n -ready stumped an that loike wot waz i to dooze ?! Do youse loike know wot i reckon an that ? This is me latest feory - it's loike youse have the squares loike facing downwards on a glass f-n table an that soze youse can loike play loike lying on the floor an that Now me next loike big challenge an that is to loike seez hows i can loike get those pieces to loike stick ontoos the bord an that ...ize would reoilly welcum any loike klues an that. Thomas M Crass Last edited by Tom Crass : 10-07-2011 at 01:57 AM

10-07-2011, 09:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
Iconoclast Immoderator Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Wollongong NSW Posts: 2,302	You should start by inserting all 32 pieces into your rectum, then eat the board. __________________ The individual is hopeless without the group. The group is hopeless without its individuals.

10-07-2011, 11:02 AM	#3 (permalink)
antichrist Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Byron Bay, NSW Posts: 2,821	Originally Posted by Iconoclast You should start by inserting all 32 pieces into your rectum, then eat the board. but you forgot about the extra queens for pawn promotion, I have heard that new sets have such queen but have not verified? and as well the vasoline

10-07-2011, 04:48 PM	#4 (permalink)
Axiom Support Group Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Laku, Ishmaelia Posts: 141	Tasteless? Incorrigible? Or just a plain bandersnatch? Originally Posted by Tom Crass I BORT ME FERST CHESSTES BORD TODAY ! HOW DO YOUSE F-N LOIKE THAT AN THAT ??!! I'm loike gunna lern chesstes ! I woz loike lookin at the bord an that , and loike sumfink just loike struck me loike out of fin air an that ... loike which loike side of the bord do youse use ? .. I fought to meself , i'm loike al- f-n -ready stumped an that loike wot waz i to dooze ?! Do youse loike know wot i reckon an that ? This is me latest feory - it's loike youse have the squares loike facing downwards on a glass f-n table an that soze youse can loike play loike lying on the floor an that Now me next loike big challenge an that is to loike seez hows i can loike get those pieces to loike stick ontoos the bord an that ...ize would reoilly welcum any loike klues an that. Thomas M Crass No one ever influenced Tolkien—you might as well try to influence a bandersnatch. -- Lin Carter, Imaginary Worlds __________________ Make AXIOM a moderator and let real analysis cut the still night air.

12-23-2011, 11:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
Tom Crass Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 25	Originally Posted by Axiom Support Group -- Lin Carter, Imaginary Worlds Mate iove got loike no f-n clue mate wot youse arse on about , but loike i reoilly loike fancied her loike in Wonderwoman an vat . Me missus wont let me watch it , i loike 'ave to watch it in the garage an vat . Last edited by Tom Crass : 12-23-2011 at 11:34 PM

12-24-2011, 01:17 AM	#6 (permalink)
Tom Crass Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 25	Originally Posted by Iconoclast You should start by inserting all 32 pieces into your rectum, then eat the board. Originally Posted by antichrist but you forgot about the extra queens for pawn promotion, I have heard that new sets have such queen but have not verified? and as well the vasoline Now loike iove bin finkin bout fis for loike sum f-n time , and i fink iove loike worked out what youse mean by movin the pieces an vat . Its loike when youse have a movement an vat . Iom loike ass-f-n-suming youse loike eat the bord loike one square at a time an vat ? fank youse, Tom

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